on finding motivation (again.)

I totally hit a wall with my workouts over the last few weeks.  I do this a lot - I'll go hard core for three or four weeks, then get lazy.  its not even a matter of boredom, since there's a ton of variety in the bootcamp setup, and I love the classes offered at our gym.  I could blame the Thanksgiving holiday: rich food, time spent running around to pick up groceries, cold temperatures driving me indoors and toward comfort foods.  but I can be honest: it's just laziness.

more optimistically, we've started a semi-tradition of running a turkey trot on Thanksgiving morning, if for no other reason than to burn 300ish calories to later replenish tenfold.  last year, it was a 10k in San Jose.  this year, we couldn't find a 10k in the city (and don't have a car to drive to the 'burbs), so we settled for a 5k located just down the street.  after a crap night of sleep on Wednesday, I somehow managed to pull myself from our warm bed and motivate Rob to get moving.  we were beyond lucky with the weather: it was near 60* and sunny.  despite dodging hoards of fellow "runners" (side note: if you're gonna walk, MOVE TO THE SIDE.) and stopping for the rock in Rob's shoe, we managed a 10:03/mile.  I'll take it.

getting motivated to head to the gym yesterday was tougher, given that we'd have to bear temperatures in the low-30s and have a really comfy couch.  bootcamp's current phase of workouts has a push/pull/full body layout, and I'm not loving it.  it's not bad, I'm just not pumped about it like the other workouts.  and I'm lazy.  so instead of ignoring a workout altogether, I dug back a few weeks and redid one of the workouts I really liked.  since I'd left notes for myself, I was able to track strength and form improvement.  seeing strength gain was refreshing and helped me feel motivated again!  today, I mapped out my workout plan for the week and treated myself to a $9 (!!!) Old Navy workout top thanks to a cyberMonday presale.

control

its no surprise that I'm a type-A personality.  my spreadsheets have spreadsheets.  I'm never further than arm's reach from a list.  I plan ahead, often sometimes to a fault.

not having a job isn't easy.  sounds so dumb, right?!  it's actually pretty tough to spend days soul-searching (and continuing with it when you unearth things you don't love about yourself), researching job/field options, staying motivated, and fighting every urge to stick my head in the sand by taking any ol' job.  (cue violins, right?!)  it's becoming apparent that grad school maaaaay be in my future, as resistant as I am to admit it.  I love school.  I love learning.  I love x100 school supplies and figuring out my own organizing systems and meeting like-minded people.  I don't love the idea of student loans or locking myself into something pretty major for two or three years, only to hope I like what's waiting for me on the other end.  my inner control freak is not pleased.

as part of my soul-searching, I've been examining how I react to stress and thinking about what I should do instead.  Although I'm usually a grazer, I'm definitely an emotional/stress-induced eater.  if I'm at home and feeling tense, I head to the kitchen for a pick-me-up.  when I feel unprepared or unsure, I tend to shop in hopes of gathering things that'll help me prepare for 'just about anything'.  when I just wanna scream, I feel better if I can take some time to craft/create something.  when I feel like I'm not accomplishing, the procedures of baking/cooking help me settle down.  cute, huh?

a few of those need modifications.  the crafting and baking/cooking can stay, for a variety of reasons.  the emotional eating needs some attention, and the shopping's (obviously) gotta go.

its funny when something obvious finally stands out to you.  sports/athletics and being active/working out have always been a part of my life (thanks, Mom & Dad!), yet I don't often find myself saying "I'm stressed, so I'm going for a run".  I don't use exercise as a reactive stress-relief, instead opting to exercise as a potential preventative measure.  silly billy.

I've been LOVING this Best Body Bootcamp.  its pushing me physically, gives me a schedule of sorts, connects me to others like me, and holds me accountable.

over the last week or so, I've started to feel whelmed by all. the. things.  (supposedly) planning a wedding.  figuring out what I want in a career.  staying connected to family and friends throughout the country.  fitting my workouts in (again, sounds so dumb, right?!  fitting in a workout to a totally malleable schedule?  must be rough).

so this morning, rather than lace up my sneakers to log my time at the gym first thing, I'm trying something different: sitting in a coffee shop with my thoughts and stress triggers (yes, even the funemployed feel stress.) with the intention of working out as a release this afternoon.  let's see how this goes...

walkin' the plank (yeah, I said that...)

know what looks simple enough but'll kick your ass so much harder than you could possibly realize?

a plank.  
to be specific, a 45-second plank followed by a 15-second "rest" plank on your knees.  repeated five times.  FIVE.

planks after a tough shoulder workout the previous day?  DEAD.

tomorrow marks phase two of the Best Body Bootcamp, and planks are not on the workout plan.  yet apparently I like pain, since my core, while sore and shredded, feels much stronger, which I can feel in other areas of my body as well.  and with scoliosis, I need all the core strength I can muster, so I'll now be incorporating them into my weekly routine as one of my extra goals.  

so there's that.